I tried and tried and tried and I'm tired!!!!

Social media is filled with so much stuff that most of them are just for the sake of killing time and you don't actually pay attention to any post.. On very rare occasions you come across a post which hits a raw nerve somewhere and resonates maximum in the current situation you are in.. This image is one such post..

Lockdown and all that it has got about can get overwhelming to anyone. Added to that if you were already in a tough phase before the lockdown, it only makes it worse..

What does one do when they keep trying and repeatedly failing at something?? Especially if everyone around believes you have done very well and they don't even understand that you have failed.. At one stage we will get tired.. How do we put on a brave face and go with life as if you are totally in control whilst it's slipping away from you like sand held in a tight fist.. 

Life is tough on some days and we look for shortcuts or escape routes at those times.. None come our way get pushed against the wall.. 

We can only hope that the elusive secret door opens and better days will come our way soon and endure the tough days with hope being our only ally.

Here is to everyone who is having to rough it out.. Rest a while and try again!!!! Giving up should not and is not an option!!! Let hope guide you through and you achieve what you set out to achieve !!!

Durgesh 

Choices - Happiness or Peace

Life is all about the choices that we make as we go along they say.. I have always believed this to be true..

Since the time most of us have enough thinking capability (usually teens) , our life is shaped by the choices that we make. In my own case, choosing my high school was probably the last decision that my parents made on their own. Then on, everything in my life has been a choice that I have made or a direct outcome of that.

What is that we look for when we make choices? How do we know if we are making the right choice?  There has been one simple guiding rule I have followed and believed in. Every choice that we make has to give us either happiness or peace. If the choice results in an outcome which is not giving us either of the above, we have made try wrong choice.

Though not impossible, it's very rare that our choice gives us both - Happiness and Peace. If it gives us either of the above, I think we can go with the choice that we have made.

There will be times when we make a choice that is usually not accepted socially or believed by others as right. However, in pursuit of our happiness, it should be acceptable for us. Similarly, doing what everybody believes to be right, but seldom followed by them will give us peace and hence a better choice.

However selfish it may sound, pursuing choices which gives us happiness or peace is extremely important for our well being..

Communication - Or rather the lack of it!!

One of my responsibilities as a HR Professional is also to counsel people on occasions.. This also gives me an opportunity to look at situations from multiple perspectives.
However, one thing which clearly stands out in most of these situation where there have been problems is the communication - or rather the lack of it!! This is not restricted to issues at the work place but also in our personal lives.
What is it that causes us to not communicate clearly what we want to convey??? One of the primary reasons most often is the lack of ability/skill required to convey. Lack of trust keeps us from conveying information too. A sense of insecurity drives us. Remember this situation wherein a newly hired manager walked up saying he is unable to manage his subordinates. This, coming from a seasoned professional who was in a similar role elsewhere was a shocker. A few adhoc coffee meets with the subordinates and out came the reason. Having worked with their previous manager for a long time and used to their ways, they were unsure about the new manager who had not been promoted internally unlike in the past. He was an external entrant and hence the challenge. That was an easy fix by getting the manager and group in a room and facilitating a conversation.

However, when we think about our personal lives, what is it that actually keeps us from communicating?  A question by my brother a while back if I was actually being open in discussing things with him started this chain of thoughts. We often hear, if we love our near ones, its really easy to be honest and talk to them. Is it actually the case? So often, the insecurity of hurting our loved ones is what keeps us from being open and honest! Would it hurt them more if we are open and communicate clearly? or would it hurt them more if we are not open and they only get to know the actual scenario much later?? The fact remains is that what we have to say, needs to be communicated at some point of time or the other. I realised, for once, I had struggled in the past in holding crucial conversations with people who are really important to me. But with that one question my brother posed, did I learn anything? The answer is YES. It is extremely important for us to communicate clearly what we have to communicate. It is not necessary that everybody else subscribes to your thoughts or looks at it from the same perspective  as you. It only ensures you have been open and clear in communicating and if opinions differ, so be it.

It is always easier to live by agreeing to disagree on something rather than being unaware whether we agree or disagree. Whatever happens, I would only advice "COMMUNICATE CLEARLY"

regards,
Kiran

The never ending pursuit!!!!

All of us want to be happy!!! People keep saying, you need to learn how to be "CONTENT" with what you have in life!! Does it ever work? I think its highly unlikely!

One of the most common and easily displayed human behaviour is to measure everything we have in life in relation to something else! I was once watching my 1 year old nephew playing with a toy!! He looked CONTENT with the toy he had in hand and was lost in his own world without a care if somebody was watching him. Did this last long? He screamed when I tried to take the toy from him and quietened down only after I let go off his toy! The peace only lasted till my niece walked into the room with a different and more colorful toy in her hand!! Out went the contentment and he started crying and screaming for the new toy!! This is how we are probably since birth or we probably learn this very young!!

So, this being how we are, how would it be possible to "Stay content with what we have"?? The point I have here is, We may try as much or claim and scream out to the world that "I am CONTENT with what I have". But, everytime we try to learn being content with what we have, life has its own unique ways of striking back at you!! It either takes away something from you and leaves you with lesser and struggling again, or, It goes ahead and gives something to somebody else which tips the scale over again!!!! This happens continiuosly till we are eventually left with NOTHING to survive!!! Its only when you learn to cope with and survive with NOTHING in life is that it starts to pay you back!!! It starts to compensate for all that its taken from you!!!!

Well!! Atleast this is my theory on how life works and I am hoping it comes true!! I have been on the path of losing something valuable everytime I was learning to stay content with what I had!! Ofcourse, haven't reached the stage of being left with NOTHING yet!!! Its a slow and long drawn process and I am willing to wait it out!!!

Kiran!

Forgive and Forget

We constantly keep hearing this phrase, "Forgive and Forget" and is probably a cliched one too. Are we actually capable of forgetting the past?

Will you ever be able to forget if you were severly wronged by a person??? I was or atleast I believe I was wronged by somebody. Over a period of time, i did forgive the person and don't hold a grudge against them. However, if the question is, would I want to be back with this person? The answer is a "NOOOO". I sometimes ask myself this question, "Have I actually forgiven and forgotten whatever was the past?", Yet again, the answer is a resounding "NO"

Why is it so Important for us to forgive people and why do we still remember the past? The only logical answer which I could think of is our "EGO". I haven't seen a single individual who doesn't like his/her ego being massaged. When I thought about the person who had wronged me, I knew for sure I was not hoping for this person to be a part of my life again. But, I was definitely hoping to come face to face with this person and the person apologising to me for having wronged me. I would feel good when I tell the person, "You are forgiven". Our EGO would get a boost when that happens, AND, we still continue to remember this afterwards as well. I guess most human beings love to reminiscence the part when they have done a good deed and feel good about it!!!!

Ladakh Trip 2011

"Once we start working, after about 6 months, we will take 15 days break and plan a biking trip to Leh-Ladakh. " - A committment made by a bunch of biker friends in college just before the placement season started. High on confidence about placements and low on awareness on the grind of the corporate world!!!!
Aug/Sep 2011: "Abbe, October mein National alumni meet ke liye Pune Chale?" - The innocent question that started it all.. Reminded us that the trip planned in 2005 has been pending all these years!! Add to this the frustrations in the corporate world and the desperate need for a break started us off on the discussion about Leh-Ladakh.
Rahul sent out an email to the group involved in the original plan to check on responses to a new plan being made. 50% conversion only in the first screening round. Of 8 people involved, 4 gave excuses of work and backed out from the plan. Its only incidental that they are the married ones in the group. :):)
Stage 1: 3 confirmed and 1 tentative and the planning begins. Thanks to google god, details like the season for Leh-Ladakh, the ideal time to visit, etc, etc obtained in a matter of minutes. Basis other leave committments, work, etc the planned dates for the trip - 1st October 2011 - 8th October 2011.
Stage 2: The decision made on the dates, the next task on hand was to make the travel plans. The options were -
1. Drive down from Delhi and rent bikes locally in Leh
2. Ride bikes from Delhi
3. Drive till Manali and take bikes from Manali
4. Fly to Leh and then rent out bikes from Leh to cover the region
After a really long debate, the option chosen was to fly to Leh and rent bikes locally. In the interim, the "Tentative" converted to a "Declined". Resultantly the tickets for the 3 confirmed were booked and the trip well publicised.

10 days before the trip, the grind of the corporate world takes its toll and we have one more dropout. What would be a plan without a few setbacks and hiccups. To add drama to the whole exercice, my leave approval was pending till 4 days prior to the trip. Finally, the leave approval happened and the trip to go ahead as planned, but, with just 2 brave souls.

Lots of research on the internet and hearsay resulted in us boarding the flight from Leh with loads of warm clothing in hand. The trip had started and as the plane neared the Leh airport and the pilot announced the outside temperature - A pleasant 17 degrees!!!! The rest would be with pics.
Day 1 :

From Ladakh Trip

This was the first view of Ladakh as we were approaching the landing strip!!

Landed in Leh!! Took a taxi to the main market of the city!! We were told that was the centre of the city!!! Finding a guest house was quite easy actually with boards popping up on whichever side you see advertising for places to stay!! We decided on one with a decent room and a very sweet family running it!!

From Ladakh Trip

The two partners in crime in front of the guest house room!
Checked in, cleaned up and off we went again to the main market in search of our rides for the next 6 days!!! Into our little adventure we realised we may have pushed the dates of our trip a little too close to winter.. This was driven home when we realised that more than 50% of bike rentals had shut shop for the season and the ones who were renting out refused to give it after hearing about the places we had on our mind to visit!! One of them had awesome bikes to give but refused to let us take it far saying, "Barf girna shuru hogaya hai valley mein. Agar aap log vaha phas gaye tho hamare bikes bi phas jayenge aur humain trucks pe lana padega"
4 full hours into our search, we zeroed in on one guy who agreed to give us bikes from the next morning. 2 relatively new Pulsar 150s!! Must admit they were really good rides and got us out of couple of situations!!

From Ladakh Trip

Our rides for the week!!!!

Day 2: We started with the bikes and the first road we hit had to be NH 1 connecting Leh-Srinagar-Delhi!!!

From Ladakh Trip

One of the most awesome roads we have ridden our bikes on!!! Loved the highway!! The first place we hit was a place called Magnetic Hill.. The pic explains the name as well!!

From Ladakh Trip

After testing the claim which we found did not work on our bikes with fibre body, we moved on to Sangam which is as the name suggests, meeting point of the rivers Indus and Zanskar!!!

From Ladakh Trip

The 2 rivers can be distinctly identified in the pic as well!!
Further on, we covered Alchi monastery which was one of the oldest monasteries in the region!!! Though the monastery by itself is not in great shape, it is situated in a beautiful location!! Right on the banks of the river!!

From Ladakh Trip

The monastery in the background!! And the 2 women we met who were from Holland and Sweden travelling together!!! Reminder to both of us how bad we are at interacting with pretty women!! More so when the women walk up to talk to us!! Can you believe it? We told them what work we do, but we didnt exchange names of email ID's. :):)

After a long day out in the sun and the dusty highway, we made our way back to the guest house in the evening!!The next day was going to be a big one with Chang La and Pangong Lake on the plan.

Day 3: A 7:00 AM start in that place was an awesome experience!! Not sure if it was foolish on our part or extremely smart to start so early!! But, by the time we had covered 30 kilometres, our hands were completely frozen inspite of the gloves and we stopped over for a breakfast of awesome parathas on the Manali highway!!

From Ladakh Trip

This was one of the other stopovers on the way!! The awesome Thiksey Monastery!!
2 hours into the ride we realised it was not going to be an easy ride and we had clearly underestimated the travel time going purely by the distance in kms!! Chang-La at about 80 Kms from Leh took us almost 4 hours to reach!! The constant uphill climb was awesome and fortunately we had decent bikes which could handle it!!

From Ladakh Trip

The first view of Chang-La (3rd Highest Motorable road in the world) from when we were about an hour away on the road!!

From Ladakh Trip

Chang-La!!!!

From Ladakh Trip

Another view from the pass!!
15 mins spent here, we started our onward journey to Pangong lake, considered to be one of the most beautiful lakes in the world!! It was an awesome ride though tough with the huge backpack on my back!! We had complete plans for our stay at the lake!!!
A 2 hour gruelling ride and the end result, we landed up at the place in this pic!! B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L was all we could say!!!

From Ladakh Trip

The fame is well earned!!!
The water was so clear that you look down and you can see the bottom of the lake.. Almost like our swimming pool with a different colored base!!!

From Ladakh Trip

Had awesome lunch of Roti, Subzi, Dal and Rice!! Would you belive it that they were having a buffet there!!!
As far as the expanse of the lake goes!! We covered about 6 kms in a straight line along the edge of the lake!! But, the end was nowhere in sight!! As per some claims, it ends in China!! I couldn't see the China border anywhere around!! :)

Done with all the fun and frolic at the lake, we decided to find out about places to stay!!! To our dismay, the camps on the banks of the lake had already shut for the season and only options were some places called "Home Stay" with the locals in their homes!! We went and saw some and we realised, the "Home Stay"s were small dinghy rooms with low ceiling, with windows boarded shut and only enough space to sleep and change!! We initially decided on one and after an hour of sitting outside, decided to go into the "Home Stay" to change!! Only then did we realise that both of us were feeling the oxygen levels to be quite low and we were panting for breath!! Initially I ignored it thinking my fitness levels were really low and hence i was panting!! :)
Post realising our conditions in that place, we evaluated our state and chances of survival incase something happens in the night and we have an emergency!! Realisation dawned that we were far, far away from any actual civilisation!! The 10 odd houses of locals there had nothing to help us!! We looked at our watch and re-eavaluated our plan!! The clock showed 3:50 PM and we thought we could make it back to Leh in time if we started right away!!!
We put the plan into action and the first step was to put on an extra layer of clothing!! Considering ourselves equipped, we stepped out and told the local that we had decided to ride back to Leh and his only expression was loud laughter with a gesture indicating "IMPOSSIBLE" with his head and hand!!!
So, there started one of our most adventorous ride!!! About 10 kms into the ride!! Since we were in total wild terrain with only tyre treads for road and no road signs anywhere, we realised we had erred and taken the wrong road!!! We were on a hill and the road we had to take was down below- a decline of 3-4 kms!! One look at the clock told us we had no time to go back and take the right road!! So, off we went down the hill on our bikes!! A complete off-roading adventure!! First thing when both of us realised we had made it safely to the bottom of the hill was stop and laugh out loud for about 5 mins!! And we were back on the road!!
That must have been one crazy ride we did!! On the highway we realised we were the last vehicle to leave Pangong and we did not cross any vehicle for about 25 kms!! Though we had doubts on whether we had made the right choice by deciding to ride back, we stuck to it and rode like maiacs on those hill roads!!!
As we approached Chang-La we realised the bike was struggling and had to be virtually pushed through on some steep inclines!!! We pushed on and were relieved only when we entered Leh city!! A journey which had taken us 6 hours onward was covered in 4 hours!!! One of the best and most unforgettable adventures of the trip!!!

Day 4: The adventure of the previous day had taken its toll and we slept like we hadn't slept in years!!! With the whole body hurting (Highlighting the lack of exercise in our day-to-day life), we decided to cover places of local interest!!! To our luck, we bumped into a team from Red-Bull which was planning an event at Khardungla!! Amazing equipment with a camera mounted on a remote controlled copter!! The way that copter was being flown around itself was a sight to watch!!!

From Ladakh Trip

A view of Leh city from the Leh Palace!!!

From Ladakh Trip

I wonder who would call this a palace!! :)

Day 5: It was time for the most awaited moment of our trip!! A trip to Khardung La - The highest motorable road in the world!!!! Off we went with extra layers of clothing!! 18,400 feet above sea level, it was going to be one hell of an experience!!! The brave souls that we were, we ignored a doctor friends advice to carry handy oxygen cylinders and decided to challenge nature and the oxygen levels there!! We did ensure that we stopped over very frequently on the way and had lots of water!!
AS we started our climb, we realised the term "ROAD" was not applicable and it was just a mountain path!!! Keeping us company on the road was a convoy of 16 Shaktimaan trucks of the Indian Army!!! As if the roads weren't bad enough already, our last 4 kms to the top also had snowfall happening!! We did have the crazy temptation to ride minus the helmets and catch some of the flakes on our tongues!! But, better sense prevailed and we rode on!!! :)

The feeling when we reached the top was just AWESOME!!!

From Ladakh Trip

For the ones who can see it - Snow fall!!
To our surprise, army has a big setup there and additionally a canteen selling chai, bisuits and of course - MAGGI!! :):)

From Ladakh Trip

THE MAGGI STORY!!! - At Khardung La

From Ladakh Trip

KHARDUNG LA!!

Day 6: The last day in Leh and we had decided to while away time in the local market and buy stuff!! We were also motivated to eat lots!! We HAD to try out some of the local stuff like Yak cheese omletes, etc.. Though I must admit I couldn't make out any difference in taste!! :)
We also visited some places within City Limits like the Shanti stupa, etc.

From Ladakh Trip

The huge Idol in the Stupa!!

From Ladakh Trip

The Top of the Stupa!!

As the sun started to set, we were left thinking, "Is our vacation over already??". Needless to say it was one hell of a trip.. With lots of the regions like Kargil, Drass, etc still to be covered, we boarded our flight back to Delhi with only 1 thought - "Ladakh Trip - Part II has to happen real soon"!!!

For anybody planning a trip to the region, please reach out and will try to share whatever info we might have and that might be useful!! :)

Durgesh!!

The Fears We Live With

This was the headline for an article by Pritish Nandy in Bombay Times a few days back. A very interesting title though the article was not exactly on the lines that I was thinking. The article got me back to thinking about something which crosses my mind often - "Our Fears".

Is there anybody who doesn't have anything that they fear? I haven't met anybody that way though. At different stages of our life, we have different fears. But is fear always a bad thing? Not necessarily. Fear has its good things too.

As a kid, my biggest fear was facing parents when I had done something they wouldn't approve of. (Can't say that I am over it now. ;) ) Though, now I am confident of putting across my thoughts on things which I believe I am right and get their approval.

As you grow up, the fears you live with change as well. People constantly keep saying that "Death" is the biggest fear. But, is it always so? Maybe Death is one of worst fears we live with. But, it isn't always the fear of facing our own death. Most often it is the fear of "Life" when faced with the death of a loved one. This is true not just incase of death of a loved one. It happens when we lose a loved one from our life due to whatever reasons (Breakup, family disputes, etc) When we lose a loved one, we almost panic thinking how will we lead our life without the person being around. Though we overcome this over a period of time, most often with support from other loved ones, after this, we constantly fear losing another loved one.

For a lot of other people, FEAR is what drives them to perform and achieve what they have. The fear of failure or the fear of outcome of failure is so high that they put in the extra efforts to succeed.

Our fears do impact a lot of important decisions we take in life. Are the decisions always right? I wouldn't know. But, what I do know is we continue to live with some fears in life. Don't think it would possible to overcome all your fears and lead a life without fears.

But something which I think is essential is for us to recognise our fears and be aware. I am aware of somethings which I fear and I am willing to live with. Would I want to overcome them? Maybe yes. But will I be able to overcome all of them. Definitly not.

The phrase, "The Fears we live with" is something which is applicable to all of us.

Think about it and identify the fears that you are living with. Though you might not be able to get over it and lead a fear free life, atleast it would help you be better prepared when actually faced with that fear!!!!

Kiran!